I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
