Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
