Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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