Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
