; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
