the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
