You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
