Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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