thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
