Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
