.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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