A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
