When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
