Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
