absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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