I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
