I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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