Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
