so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
