wakey wakey hands off snakey
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
