As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
