i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
