Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
