So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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