My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
