sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
