If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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