you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
