People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm too high and old for this...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
