ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
