just tell him i said nine months
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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