dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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