are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
