All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
