I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
