IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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