3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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