Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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