Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
