i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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