Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
