so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
