i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
