Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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