Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
