...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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