Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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