nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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