maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
