Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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