Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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